A New Week..
The Start of a new week....
Today is day 12 of my recovery and it has gone well so far. I still have real worries about work and also where the hell my life is going to go from here but the most important thing is that I am sober and making real progress. I've started reading a book on how to reprogramme my unconscious mind to fight my urge to drink and I'm finding it an enjoyable experience. I read a chapter first thing each day and it's starting my day off well and in a positive fashion. Watch this space for updates on how it goes. On top of reading I have also been meeting with a family friend in the village to discuss how I'm doing and also taking part in basic meditations which allow me to stop and take stock of my life. I'm finding these very beneficial and they have allowed me to look into my past and think about the reasons/causes for my behaviour. I'll try and reflect these in this diary as time goes on. I've also been attending local AA meetings and found the Berwick one on a Sunday night very helpful, it also filled me with hope and was also so nice to be around others who have gone through similar experiences. It was also FUN! Last night I made friends with an alcoholic who has been sober for a long period of time and he has agreed to start taking me through the 12 step process. He is also going to give me a lift to the meeting in Wooler this evening so I can keep the ball rolling and get more benefit from AA. He lives in the next village from Coldingham and could prove to be a very valuable person to be allied with. On the way back from AA last night I discussed with my mum how this period of time would be the perfect time for me to get really stuck into the 12 step programme and this is something I'm determined to do having failed so miserably in Edinburgh. On Tuesday I will travel to Kelso with my mam to meet my alcohol/recovery support worker for the first time. I will discuss my issues and hopefully plan for the future going forward. I'll get all the information about getting into rehab and find out what the process involves. It might take a long time to get myself into rehab but this is the first positive step. On Friday I will travel to Edinburgh with my mam to pick up the last of my belongings from Ewan's and drop off my laptop etc to the Princes Trust office. I'm very nervous about this but hopefully in my mind this will be another milestone and let me concentrate fully on my recovery. For all of the issues mentioned - watch this space for more updates, starting tomorrow!
Tuesday 20th February
Just a quick update today before heading off early to my appointment with alcohol support service. Last night I travelled to Wooler with my new found AA pal Max. We chatted there and back in the car about alcohol and he was certainly uncompromising about the process of recovery. Some of it was quite uncomfortable but I realised it was important for me to hear. At the meeting itself I met some of the most lovely, kind and caring people who welcomed me with open arms and listened intently to my story. Perhaps most importantly of all was how much laughter and fun that went on and there was also a real feeling of community spirit to the group - much more than in Edinburgh or other city meetings. I look forward to going back so long as I can get a lift! Max has agreed to start me off on the 12 steps and be my temporary sponsor - I'm buzzing to be able to start and he will order me a copy of the big book so I can get started. At this stage I'm not sure if we click and if long term it might be better for me to find a different sponsor but at least I can make a start and work on looking for a different sponsor if I feel I need to. Anyway serious progress and I'm also really enjoying reading "This Naked Mind" which my mam bought for me and which talks about reprogramming your unconscious mind to change the way you think of alcohol - 1 chapter a day in the morning which is really setting me up for a positive day! More tomorrow....