Spencer and his flat...

Write a memory of a person, place or event - go for detail, especially what you hear, see, smell, feel and taste at the time

Spencer's flat was, unsurprisingly, a lot like Spencer. It was very untidy and a bit muddled, but always welcoming and a safe place. It was also far from the influence of family and other social groups who as a teenager I was often keen to escape! We spent many a weekend holed up in there, mostly intoxicated but having fun, spending hours talking about video games and music, while often getting involved in his many "home improvement" ideas.

We helped "decorate" the back spare room or the black room as it came to be known. As described the room was painted completely black and then had some fluorescent glow in the dark stars added for effect. There was always a plan to add some covered strip lights to finish the job but this was one of those things that never ended getting done, probably due to some form of intoxication or other.

I loved being at Spencer's flat, probably because Spencer was my best friend. When he died it shaped much of the person I became in adult life and left an indelible imprint on me. I wish I could talk to him and ask his opinion on my life choices and all my achievements and mistakes. Over the course of the years I've been sure I've seen him in various places, only to realise it was just someone who looked similar.

Spencer used to come and visit me when I lived in Whitley Bay. You could always tell it was him from the front room window as he lolloped along wearing his lime green jumper which was full of holes. He looked a dead ringer for Kurt Cobain and this was very intentional as he loved Nirvana. Ironically he was bullied for his appearance for all the time I knew him. He was seen as different and picked on, often resulting in violence towards him. If only people could have seen that he was actually ahead of his time, and liked music that so many others would go on to love.

When Spencer visited I would often have to go to college the next day and since he was unemployed I always left him sleeping at my house while I went to, ahem, study. My gran lived with us at the time and she would always look after him, making him fry ups and feeding him biscuits and cake. They got on really well and Spencer was always very respectful of my Gran, unlike many young people. I know my gran was very fond of Spencer too and loved to mother him. I'm sure she was desperate to wash that hole filled jumper as well!

Some years after we had lost my gran and Spencer, my mum told me a story that has lived with me to this day. She said that she was sitting in the living room on what happened to be the anniversary of my grans passing. She said she had a double take as she was sure that she saw Spencer walking past the living room window as if to come to the front door. She saw him lolloping past in his usual unkempt and awkward way. Sadly Spencer didn't knock at the front door as he was already gone from this world.

We are in no way a religious family and prefer the scientific, logical approach to such matters. Regardless of this, my mum said that was how she saw Spencer and my gran, Spencer being mothered by my gran somewhere in the afterlife. My gran looking after him and them looking after each other together. This is a simple yet very comforting thought that our family, myself and my mother in particular, choose to picture when we think of both of them.

This started out as a description of a flat! There's so much more I could say about Spencers flat, like how we built a multi colour wall with empty beer cans, or how we risked life and limb in the winter climbing through the third floor window when keys were lost. But really, Spencers flat was just like my own home, somewhere where there was always a friendly face, a smile and a spare sleeping bag.